10 Secret Fears 90 percent of Guys Never Talk About
Isn’t it odd that every psychological article you see on the net has pictures mostly of women in them? Now is everything only about women and their fears, there are many instances in relationships when the woman is the strong one and the drama queen is the male, this isn’t to undermine men but to put things in perspective, as women have their fears, so do men too. Throughout the ages, society has fixed a stereotype on the male as the embodiment of strength without the remote possibility of harboring issues, well, that’s simply not true and here are the 15 things that worry most men.
1. How their body looks
Women from young are made to feel conscious about their figures and to look after their bodies through diets and healthier lifestyles and generally speaking men don’t usually face such issues but it doesn’t mean we men aren’t concerned about our bodies. Men are also conscious of their bodies and often make comparisons with the well-toned models they see in men magazines. This is why men do visit gyms, get their chest waxed and tend to tuck their tummies in when a woman is around. Perhaps a man’s biggest fear is that damn protruding belly which just won’t go away.
Let’s face it. Money makes the world go round and men often worry about money. Being projected with the thought that they are the family breadwinner, any responsible man will always worry about his financial situation even if he doesn’t have a family. While care, love, and attention are important for a woman, a man’s subconscious way of thought will always be money to provide for his woman.
Which man does not worry about his height if he considers himself short? The ideal features of a man are “being tall”. From time immemorial, that phrase of an ideal woman’s dream man in romance novels is that tall dark handsome stranger.” Now how does it sound when you say “short dark and handsome”? Doesn’t quite match does it?? Refute this or not but size matters to a man.
4. He regards other men as a threat
Men can be jealous, it’s a common trait even though it may not be as obvious as a woman’s but it can be equally fierce. Men see other men in their partner’s lives as a potential threat. It is an affront to their own self-esteem and though your partner won’t flinch or show signs he is anxious when you speak to him about a male colleague, inside, the comparisons are already going on. You’ll have to do your best to show him he’s NO 1 in your life.
5. Poor experience in relationships
Seriously speaking men are afraid of projecting themselves as macho figures because it makes them appear as they are the ideal man with experience in relationships. In truth, a man is just as afraid of messing up in a relationship as women are. Insecurity, the fear of saying or doing the wrong things can plague a man when he has a new girlfriend until late at night. It is caring, understand and most of all compromise that makes a relationship safe keep each other confident.
6. Hair issues
Many men have hair issues and even fear going bald. Even hair on the body might be an issue, is it too much or too little? Not everyone likes looking like Kojak or Yul Brynner. Moreover, men often worry about their hairstyles if they are too messy or too neat or if it isn’t macho enough. Graying of hair is another issue that frightens men because it means either accept it and look older or go through that ordeal of coloring your hair.
7. Diet. Yes men do care about their food
It is often the case with women who can be heard saying “I’m on a diet” but just because you don’t hear a man saying it doesn’t mean he isn’t conscious of what he eats. Today more and more men are taking care of their looks and bodies and the food they eat. Men too like being healthy although they don’t talk about it much.
8. Their relationship with their partners
There are loads of articles written on relationship issues from a women’s perspective. But don’t for once think men are too brutal to care about how a relationship is going. A man sometimes may put his foot in his mouth and say the wrong thing but he will end up cursing himself for doing so; the truth is men too care deeply about their partners and fear to mess up a relationship. The problem is that they are less prone to speaking about it.
9. How many partners did his girlfriend have before him?
Men are often plagued with self-esteem and ego issues. If a woman has had partners before her present boyfriend, the man takes it as a sign of completion that he needs to show that he is better than all of them. The other issue is that a man fears being less experienced than the woman in this case which is somewhat a self-imposed slur on his own manliness. But even as a man I would say relax bub!!, because the truth is when you have a good woman and she loves you, then she won’t make comparisons and couldn’t really be bothered with your experience as long as you care and love her too And !! Because the past is the past.
10. Expression of emotions
How many men have heard this told to them when young? Don’t cry! You are a man!” This is somewhat ingrained in a man’s psyche from young which is why a man is often scared of expressing emotions openly. It is wrong of a parent to cultivate such a notion in any child because that leads to issues and pent-up frustrations. A man will never be less a man if he cries or expresses his feelings. An expression of emotions is never a sign of weakness.
11. They fear not being a man
For all the women out there, how many times have you stood amused over your man lying below the kitchen sink trying to fix it even though he can’t?? Well for many men, such things are a sign of being a man and if he can’t do so, it may cause a sense of inadequacy which is a false notion actually. If you can’t repair her hairdryer, it doesn’t make you less of a man. Remember an own doesn’t choose you as a partner because she wants a handyman around the house, she wants you to care for her not her objects.
12. Scared of going to a doctor for certain checkups
Believe it or not, this is called the whitecoat syndrome where quite a few men loathe a doctor probing their nether regions or going for a checkup for conditions like hemorrhoids or prostate problems. As much as they can, they will try and treat the problem themselves till there is no option but to go to a doctor. But then too it is with some loathing. This is another reason why a magazine like Men’s Health gets a lot of subscribers because men can easily read about symptoms without pulling down their pants.
Men thrive on relevance. Be it doing work around the house, being the provider of the family or being the shoulder for his wife or partner to cry one. But! Make a man feel insignificant; make him feel like he is just your monthly paycheck and that can wound a man deeply. Unhappy partners make unhappy relationships.
As weird as it sounds, a man is actually terrified of disappointing or letting his woman down. He worries about making an oversight, saying things that may anger you or forget to do something you asked him to. Disappointment paves the way to irrelevance and rejection. Like it or not, men may hold a privilege to power in the world but at home, it is the women who pull the strings at home through affirmation and intimacy. As much argument and debate this may provoke, face it when a man wants intimacy and he is being rejected because of something he did, that’s something a man can come to terms with and fears a lot.
Finally, rejection because when you reject a man for someone else, it is an affront to the male psyche and the ego which every man develops in his life as a result of society stereotyping men as such. Thus men can stand rejection. They just cannot believe that a woman would choose someone else over them. In most cases.
Now the fear of rejection isn’t only specific to men but when a man hears no, be it in any situation, he just can’t come to terms with it. Of course, every emotionally healthy man will of course gradually get over such things but the initial rejection is to deep a wound for any man to take.
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